Modern-day curses

[BFM_JANE]

Forget about the fleas of a thousand camels, this is how you wish evil upon your enemies today.

May your headphones snag on every door handle.

May you forever feel your cell phone vibrating in the pocket it's not even in.

May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.

May your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you remember it's there.

May your chair produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove it was just the chair.

May your mother come to talk to you, and then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.

May the pin of the bathroom stall never reach the lock to close the door.

May your spoon always slip and sink under the hot soup you eat.

May all your Facebook notifications be game invites.

May you leave your laptop to charge overnight without noticing the cord is not plugged into the wall.

May every "empty" parking space you see in the distance actually contain a motorcycle.

May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.

May both sides of your pillow be warm.

May you always get up from your computer with your headphones still attached.

May your article load that extra little bit as you're about to click a link so you click an ad instead.

May every guitar pick you use fall into the sound hole.

May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.

[BFM_Crimson]

 

So accurate.

Wait, how long have you been cursing me?