Just kidding, I read all that. Aaaand, I'm pretty sure that the last time I wished you a HB, you said you'd been in a motorcycle accident then, too. I've never been on a motorcycle, but it must be pretty amazing if you keep getting on them...
But hey, with half your ribs broken, it should be easier to squeeze into narrow places. Something fall behind the fridge? No problem! Can't afford another seat on plane trip? We'll just fold you into a suitcase!
No, seriously, be careful next time. And happy birthday to you and the little guy, your shared birthday parties are going to be fun